So, last birthday dad got me this new phone. Well actually I got a new phone. He paid for it. The birthday gift aspect of it was more implied. And absolutely necessary, given my financial state at the time. Now, one year later, that phone is in a coma and I have been forced to revert back to my tiny Samsung galaxy pocket something something phone.
It didn't take me long to remember why I was so desperate for a new phone last year in the first place. This phone is slooooooowwww. It is slower than an episode of a saas-bahu serial. The time between the Whatsapp notification and me getting to actually read it would allow for 10 reaction shots of the members of the Khurana family reacting to their new bahu forgetting to put tea leaves in the evening tea or something. If it was an image and I needed to download it then we could squeeze in the commercial break as well and the scene after the commercial break where it is revealed that bari bahu had replaced the teapot with the tea with a teapot full of warm water to make choti bahu look bad.
All Khurana family dynamics aside, this is not a comfortable phone to use. It's slow, it crashes a lot and its tiny. And tiny is bad because the microphone is a piece of crap and when I have the phone to my ear, it is too far from my mouth for the person at the other end to make out what I am saying resulting in me having to shout out every word or use the phone like a walkie talkie.
So basically, it is either
"HAA MAAJI PRANAAM!!"
or
"Haa Maaji pranaam. Over!"
Needless to say, not one of the easier choices to make.
The Lenovo A6000 Plus I had got for my birthday was a good phone for the first six months. Then came along a system update, which frankly, had more similarities to a run of the mill horror movie possession than an actual system update in that it completely screwed my phone up. I think it was the update to Lollipop. I was perfectly content with my Kitkat. I am no techno geek. I am sure that's not even the right term to describe the people I am thinking of. I mean the people who know what version of software their phones run to the last digit and care about such things.
Someone had told me my phone was a Kitkat. And I was fine with that. It did all the things I would want a smart phone to do. It was quick on its feet. Graceful and all. And then came along the update. It was like my phone had just hit puberty. Oh the tantrums. It wouldn't save call logs. Switch off when it wanted to. It wouldn't charge up half the time. I would connect the phone to a charger, leave it alone for an hour and bingo. The charge on it goes from 25% to 7%. Where was it losing all that electricity? High voltage casino? Bijli Teen Patti? Weird stuff.
And now it wont charge up at all. I would plug in the charger, take it out, plug it back in applying more pressure, then less. But nothing. It felt like trying to bring a dead body to an orgasm. Wasn't going to happen.
So the phone lies dead in the cupboard waiting for me to drop it off at a service centre and find out what the chances are of a full revival. And while I am going around looking for authorised service centres for Lenovo my friends are out looking for pokemons in Pune. How friggin cool is that? And I am missing out on the one game that makes you actually get out of the house. Would I be playing it if I had a phone that didn't struggle with the basic screen unlock? Hell yes! Even though I know nothing about pokemons apart from the fact that one of them is a yellow bunny that shoots lightning every time it sneezes. And that another one with a Punjabi sounding name (Charminder? Charmander?) has its tail on fire (Hanumaan much?).
But I am ready to learn. I knew nothing about the Avengers. And now I know that Vision eventually hooks up with Scarlet Witch. I even know what happens to their kids and stuff. Ow and spoiler alert. Sorry.
So while I wait for my phone to get fixed keep the hype up. So I don't become the candy crush request guy looking for pokemons in a city going "If I stumble across one more Eevee on the street, I swear to god..."
(Knows two pokemons other than the yellow lightning bunny- 20 points... No? 10? 5... lets settle on 5 points.)
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